What would you have done with your marbles?

To each of their own when survival matters.

But what happens after one managed to survive?

Those who survived, maybe remorse is what they left.

That is the thought I have after watching Squid Game.

Time to get eye check

Time to get eye check

It is high time that I get my eyes checked.

Recently it seems that my astigmatism has gotten worse. I still can see the words but it is getting blurry and my eyes feels tired. I don’t know is it because I keep viewing stuffs on laptop and tablet that made my vision uncomfortable.

Well, I get to ask the eye doctor coming mid September when I go for my yearly review.


A few nights back, I encounter another weird dream again.

This time, I was in an unknown place with people I have yet to meet. But they seemed to be my friends in the dream. Suddenly I felt something hit the back of my head and I fell onto the ground, lying flat. I was unable to move my body and I slowly lost my senses.

Then another me walked towards the injured me, bend over and looked closely at my wound and the weapon. It was a baseball bat. Another me closely observed the injured me and by this time, my head was bleeding profusely. The whole floor was filled with my blood and it was maroon color. At this point of time, the injured me slowly lost conscious and eventually died. Another me stood up and walked to the attacker – a lady and tries to ask her why did she hit me.

And I woke up.

I could feel the part when my head was hit. It seems real but I know I might be too stressed unknowingly. If not, I think my body is trying to tell me to take ample rest and to stop watching Netflix late night.

If this kind of supernatural and unscientific dreams occur frequently, I think I need help from Sleep Doctor.

A bag of Medicine

A bag of Medicine

One morning, while having my breakfast at Mr Bean cafe located within the polyclinic, I saw a young man with a huge bag of medication walking into the stall. He looked like a healthy person and his body is quite toned. Should be someone who regularly work out at gyms.

My attention then drew towards the bag of medication that he has. It was huge amount and I thought he could be bringing an elderly to follow up on consultation. Thus, I looked around for any signs of an accompanied elderly. But I couldn’t find any.

Looking at the boxes closely as he was standing quite near to where I am sitting, I could roughly guessed the type of medication in his plastic bag. There are high blood pressure and diabetics medication. I was pretty shocked because at that instant, I couldn’t imagine him as a person who suffers from chronic diseases. He bought his breakfast and quickly walked out of the cafe.

Many people thought that while they are still young, it is impossible for them to catch up with any long term illness. This is not true. It is not the first time that I am seeing people my age or even younger following up at hospital and polyclinic. Urbanization lifestyle has altered our way of moving and exercising and as a result more young people are suffering from illnesses once only old people do.

There is also a possibility – he is collecting the medication on behalf of his family member.

Before I pen off, it is indeed health is gold. The only present we can give to ourselves is being healthy physically and mentally.

Finally I joined my organization as a full time direct staff on 1st July. There are so many unknowns in the future and hope that I continue to be courageous and blessed to have my career can take off successfully from here.



Do we ever have a choice on when we leave this life?

The answer is No and we will never know when will be the last time we will speak to each other or even sit down and have a meal with one another. Life is so fragile that people that you know can simply just pass away and there can be no next time. So if you have arranged to meet someone soon, don’t cancel or postpone if possible because you really will not know if they will still be around next time.

Sound passive ?

Last week, while reading my Facebook Newsfeed, I saw one of my close ex colleague has passed on. His wife announced it. Apparently, he only battled it for slightly more than 2 months before returning to heaven. Frankly speaking, I was shaken by this news because he has been really a nice colleague at work. He took over my billing position when I got transferred to Customer Service and was proficient in Microsoft Excel. We used to call him “God of Excel”. He gave me a batik scarf as a present for doing a detailed handover job which I kept in my drawer until today. Prior to the dreadful news, my last message with him was March this year and I thought I could arrange for meetup with some close colleagues.

Some of our close colleagues attended his wake at different timing, to see him off for the last time. It was extremely sad one but I was glad that he left without much pain. Cancer pain is usually unbearable but miraculously he did not feel anything bad during his final week of his life.

Yesterday, I dreamt about this colleague for 2nd time. The first one was on the night he passed on. In the first dream, I was attending meeting with the Solid Waste Division Colleagues in Veolia. We were laughing and joking about how nice we can work again (In reality, everyone went to different companies). He was smiling and it seems that he was coming to say goodbye. When I woke up and read the news on Facebook, I knew my friend is no more.

The 2nd dream appeared near his house. He was his usual smiley face but showed a tint of worry. He told me he still worry for his family that he has left too soon. There are a lot of things he would like to tell them. But when I wanted to carry on the conversation, he faded away and I woke up cause of the raining sound. I could no longer go back to the same dream anymore.

Many people who know me personally knew my dream can be scarily detailed which I don’t mean it. I do felt scared but more concern because my friend passed on so fast. There are a lot of things he may want to achieve in life but now he couldn’t do it anymore.

This morning I sought the help of my Catholic friend to offer some mass prayers for his soul.

I really hope he can rest in peace.

So, please cherish the people you love around you for you will not know when will be the last time you will speak to them.

Beginning of another year

Beginning of another year

Yes, it is 2021 and returned back to work after a month break since mid Dec 2020. Before it happened, I lamented on how am I going to get over these 1 month. But after I have been through it, I wish if money wasn’t an issue, I would have continue to go for break for another month maybe… Lol. I know the longer a person enjoys his or her break, the more reluctant the person would like to go back to work, provided he or she was not being asked to leave.

This is only the 1st week back to work and I feel that this year will be challenging at work. Firstly, I was given a new portfolio to follow up until further notice. I must admit I am quite worried because it seemed like no matter how I thought I am good at it, there will always be a flaw. No time to lament over it but it should be a time to set goals and improve my skills before I get to move on to another company next year. I am troubled because part of me wanted to stay in an organization as long as I can. On the other hand, I felt that I could not be the right fit in this work culture cause everyone seemed to be an elite in their job or even email composing. I guess I am now able to see what is lacking in me and will try my best to change it.

I am telling myself, be confident in whatever you do.

Raining and Asthmatic

Raining and Asthmatic

Since a few months back, Singapore has been undergoing bouts of raining days. Last 2 weeks were quite bad as we almost experience rain daily.

As temp drops to 25 deg, I am feeling asthmatic, probably too cold. I hope it is not anything worse.

Although, I don’t like hot weather, but now I am seeing grey daily. It does feels melancholy.

My Chou Chou is essential now.
November comes and nothing changes

November comes and nothing changes

Tomorrow is the last day of October 2020 and it is Halloween.

This year will be special because there is no universal studio fright night and you can’t really gather with more than 5 visitors to your house just yet. Government has recently released statement that the number of people may gather can go up to 8 people not including the ones living in the same household. I think that is a good caution because we certainly do not want to experience 2nd wave of COVID after spending our coffers on it. Plus, we can now all go back to office on alternative week, only to seek approval from the RO. I think a little normalcy makes a difference in this current Pandemic situation. Although it is a hassle to wear masks out…

There are things to look forward to in November 2020 although I will be extremely busy cause my colleague went for his month’ break. Just have to gam bate during this period of time. Happy occasions like Friend’s wedding and Doraemon’s exhibition.

Even though I have Netflix subscription, I have this sudden urge to walk into the Cinema to watch movies from film. It is really a different feel. I didn’t felt this until recently was at an exhibition while they were showing a 20 min short film. It doesn’t make sense to install a projector at home for now also.

The year has just passed by like that.. without doing much than worrying about the future, job security and money. Finished watching the Reply 1988 and 1994 Series, I think no matter how fond the memories were, we just only can move forward.

The final 2 months before the dreadful 2020 ends, Please be good to me.


Lobster Roll @ Dancing Crab

Lobster Roll @ Dancing Crab

I wish there are more fillings in this Dancing Crab Lobster Roll.

Since Burger & Lobster and other prominent restaurants that serves Lobster Rolls and start the craze for it for a period of time, I have never buy one and try it. The only time I tried before last week at Dancing Crab was during E’s birthday that C bought and shared it with the rest of us.

It was not part of the plan that we are to try Lobster Roll at Dancing Crab but since none of us is planning to get our hands dirty with seafood bag, we thought that the next best option was to try that.

Overall, Lobster roll here was palatable but the fillings was placed on the surface only. I ordered it with Truffle Fries and the amount of Fries was huge. I could not finish eating. Bread was deep fried and I am not sure if they were the ones who baked their own bread. But I would prefer the bread like a normal bread stick or baguette.

Yes, one can get full by eating bread.

If you were to ask me if I would spend $38 on a Lobster Roll again, I would give it a miss. But for the novelty of it, one should just try once.

Maybe I should try making one at home with lots of prawns in it.